Paris

Warning:  If you had a fiance, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, son or daughter in Paris during the period covered by this blog – you may not want to read any further!  Continue at your own risk!

 

Ahhhh – Paris!  Or as it is known, Gay Paris!  (Not that there is anything wrong with that!)  Where to start…  Well, we feel a little bit like we’re coming out of the bush back to civilization.  The “bush” of course being our five star beach resort in Thailand – but nevertheless, it has the feel of returning to our world.  A world where wine and cheese reign supreme.  Where the tap water is drinkable.  Where the food can be eaten without checking the quality of the nearest bathroom.  Basically, a world where we have all of the conveniences we take for granted in our normal lives.  And instead of hitting the hotels like we’ve been doing, Krysten shrewdly planned ahead and rented us an apartment for the week right up the street from the Hotel Invalides which is within striking distance of everything.  It’s nice to be able to cook your own breakfast and generally to break up the string of hotels after a while.  We forgot to take pictures of the place but it was pretty decent for what we paid – here I am in the kitchen (practicing my barre chords):

 

 

SOOO, as many of you know, we came to France for Remona’s wedding which will be in the next blog entry which covers Lille (which is where Jacques is from).  Given that the wedding was in France we thought it would be impossible not to a lot some time to Paris.  Besides, Remona was having a bachelorette party of sorts in Paris and I figured I had to be there (it was co-ed – in fact, it was mostly guys).  Just so you know who the people are when I mention them, here is the “cast of characters” if you will:

 

Remona – the bride to be (striking her “sassy” pose on the wedding day):

 

 

Interesting facts:

 

Height:  4’0″ (in heels or platform shoes)

Likes:  Frenchmen and Dancing Federal Prosecutors (will become clear later)

 

 

Alexis:

 

 

Interesting facts:

 

Dancing style:  Does the YMCA dance to every song (see above picture)

Hails from: England – but he’s a cool guy anyway

Likes:  George Bush and the GOP  (or maybe he hates them – can’t remember…)  (Actually, I can remember…)

 

 

Shakira:

 

 

Interesting facts:

 

Likes:  Absinthe (but only one lest vile consequences will ensue)

Fighting style:  Bear Claw Attack (see above picture)

 

 

Hash (he’s the one that isn’t Remona):

 

 

Interesting facts:

 

Currently:  “Partying” in Kabul on the UN compound – sounds like a plum assignment

Likes:  Drama  (would be too difficult to explain – just trust me on this one)

 

Matt:

 

 

Interesting facts:

 

Likes:  22 year old former secretary unofficial girlfriends who are exclusive in Thailand

Dancing style:  Male gigolo

Hobbies:  Keeping teeth clean for close-ups (Remona shot this picture so I wanted it somewhere prominent)

 

Ok.  So that’s the motley crew we went out with for the bachelorette party.  We started the night out with some dinner and vino at a sidewalk cafe.  Truth be told, we spent most of our time in Paris doing just that – eating at cafes, sipping wine and eating cheese.  The great thing about France is that you can just order the cheapest wine on the list and it will generally be pretty great.  Or maybe that’s not the great thing about France – maybe it’s just the great thing about my unsophisticated palate.  Either way, it works for me – as you can see here, I’m right at home:

 

 

We promptly hit the bar scene after chowing down and began drinking the most famous of French drinks – Sangria!  Wait a minute…in retrospect, I’m not sure what possessed us to drink sangria but what the hell…  After consuming a moderate amount of booze, talk began to turn to the fact that Remona was at her bachelorette party and suffering none of the indignities that should rightfully befall a bride to be.  Matt and I took it upon ourselves to remedy the situation (after Hash offered us money to do so) by going out to purchase something embarrassing for Remona to wear.  Hash claimed that we were right up the street from a plethora of shops selling such items so we set off to quickly pick up a hat stating something like “Bride To Be” with a dildo attached to it (I warned you).  We walked for about a half an hour and learned two valuable lessons about Paris – (i) never listen to a drunk guy from London (Hash) when he claims he knows where to buy a hat with a dildo attached to it in Paris and (ii) there really aren’t many proprietors of dildos on hats in Paris (in fact, I’m not sure there are any – first black mark against Paris!).  Hash still claims there is a place nearby and we should’ve just asked around.  Unfortunately, I don’t speak French and my phrasebook didn’t include “Where can I buy a dildo on a hat?”

 

Well, slinking back to the party to announce our failures we decided to take another tack – we needed a male dancer.  Since we had no idea where to find one at that hour, we decided that Matt should take the initiave and shake his money maker.  We came to this decision based on a number of factors.  First, Matt volunteered.  Second, well, I guess it was just that one factor.  (Besides, he is in much better shape than I am – unless you’re talking about the shape of a pear, in which case I win hands down.)  So here he is mid-performance:

 

 

And here are Remona and Shakira striking a pose with him after the dance:

 

 

He actually performed pretty well and by the end had a few strays come over to get their pictures taken with him.  But alas, Matt is spoken for so only the shirt came off (Kelly, from the guest Thailand blog has switched her status from “unofficial” girlfriend to “official” – and as she reads this is probably switching back to “unofficial”).  He did so well in fact, that he earned a new nickname from the ladies – the “Federal Prostituter” (for those that don’t know him, he is a federal prosecutor who is currently plotting my slow, painful death for posting all of this).  Anyway, all good things come to an end (as do all weird things) so the shirt went back on and some more traditional dancing was underway  – Krysten dancing away:

 

 

And Matt and Remona doing the Tango:

 

 

The rest of the night was filled with mundane activities like barhopping, near fights with frenchmen on the streets (hey, they started it) and certain members of the group crying for reasons not yet ascertained.  You know, the usual stuff…  Here is a picture of the last three people standing at 7 a.m.

 

 

So, I think the rest of this may sound boring after that but oh well…  Outside of the B-Party we had about four more days to kill so we spent time doing the usual Paris type things.  We hit the Louvre which is impressive to look at even from the outside.  The trouble with the Louvre is that it’s always so crowded that after about an hour you’re ready to commit ritual suicide and crawl into a sarcophagus in the Egyptian section (not in that order – that’d be impossible).  But, in the end, it’s sort of a can’t miss thing so you tough it out until you can’t walk anymore and then spend another 45 minutes trying get out of there because you’re lost.  One part of one wing of the Louvre:

 

 

 

Now, I could insert a picture of the Mona Lisa, Venus Di Milo or something to that effect – BORING!  What I have for you is much better – a mummified cat:

 

 

Apparently the Egyptians didn’t just mumify dead people, they did their pets as well.  Creepy, but I smell a hit movie somewhere in here (and a dead cat).  One last shot – here is Krysten next to her favorite sculpture (I can’t remember what it’s called):

 

 

We also managed to hit the Musee Rodin which is my favorite museum in Paris.  It has all sculptures by Auguste Rodin.  If you don’t recognize the name, think “the Thinker” and that’s him.  He has lots of other impressive stuff as well.  Here are a couple of pics from the museum – first, the Thinker:

 

 

And here is a pic of the garden in front of the museum – the works are actually scattered around the grounds as well:

 

 

One other cool moment we had was our French picnic.  We were looking around for someplace to eat and eventually decided to grab a couple of bottles of wine, some cheese, some baguettes and a couple of sheets and head to the lawn in front of the Hotel Invalides.  It’s a huge place and lots of people hang out there to sit on the lawn, play sports, whatever.  While sitting there I was seriously thinking, “How the heck am I going to go back to work after all this?”  We have determined that we really need to win the lottery or something so we can just keep this going.  In any event, I have no idea if French people do this but it felt very French to us.  Jacques, any thoughts – French or Not French?  Here we are chillin’:

 

 

Other than that I think our time in Paris was a series of cafes, wines and cheeses.  We hit a few other places like Notre Dame – you’ll see them in the pics.  We also hooked up with our friend George who worked with us at Sullivan & Cromwell.  George, if you’re reading this, we’re worried about you!  You’re working too hard.  Come meet us in Rome…  Anyway, good to see you and thanks for taking the time out to bring us to the Steak Nazi’s restaurant.  Good stuff.

 

Anyway, here is a link to the pictures from Paris – apologies in advance because as I looked backed at them I realized that they were somewhat repetitive with respect to the sights and there are a lot from the Louvre and from the Rodin museum.  Oh well, I’ll try to think “diversity” for future pics.  Try to keep the old readership entertained…  As always, click the “I” to toggle the descriptions:

 

http://flickr.com/photos/23884143@N06/sets/72157606155435774/show/

 

So, that’s all for Paris – Krysten is working on Lille (which is actually more of a wedding blog for Remona’s wedding) so it should be up pretty shortly.